I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
