Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
