I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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