So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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