Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We have started to decorate penises.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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