I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Everyone says I win the strip club
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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