do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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