you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize