Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
