i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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