I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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