you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
