I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
