It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
