He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
