apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
