i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize