only if we run a train.
done.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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