i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
