My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
