Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
