My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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