whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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