oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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