What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
