Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
do nipples grow back?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
