Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
