What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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