I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
