We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
