It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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