She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He? As in you personified your dick?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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