my phone needs a breathalizer
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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