weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Say something about gay babies.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
