kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
