i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
