Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
