Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
