Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My balls are so social today.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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