Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
So. Much. Porn.
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