Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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