it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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