you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Holy shit dude........stairs
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