Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
