If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
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