WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
