Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
