Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
