dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
