If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
