he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize