I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
