He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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