She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
