He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
