I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
