And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize