I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Randomize
